Do Women Really Like Assholes?
The debate has been going on for ions. It’s a topic that at least every woman has had to discuss with a ‘no-girl-likes-me-I’m-too-nice’ sappy guy or a ‘i-get-can-any-babe-i-want’ narcissistic, cocky jerk. But is it true? Is there really no hope for Mr.Nice Guy and all the hope in the world for the tattooed, cigarette-smoking, bar-fighter?? I’m here to say no. And here’s a great example of a recent douchebag I encountered.
What started as a housewarming party, ended feeling like a one-man comedy skit- except the ‘comedian’ didn’t know he was being laughed at. He had his A-game on for the entire 5 hours at the party and then the bar. He went from girl to girl, and when he got through them all, he started all over again. I’m not sure how he missed the eye-rolls and the shoulder shuns, but he definitely thought he was womanizing everything with an X chromosome… and even some Y’s.
I saw him approach. I was talking to a friend’s cousin when Slick McGee sauntered his way up to us and casually joined in on the conversation. There was immediate awkward silence. I looked around for a conversation starter. “So what is your tattoo of?”
Yes, bringing up the tattoo was a lame start to a conversation but let me clarify. He must have wanted everyone to ask about it because he displayed it like a new bride with her 14-carot diamond. It was across his entire chest, which was easily displayed given the fact that his white dress shirt was unbuttoned to mid-naval, in a strange pirate-like way. And what’s worse, is that his tattoo was one of the most disturbing images I’ve ever seen someone choose to permanently ink into their skin: a man in a Christ-like crucifixion pose with a sword stuck in his back… so yes, a conversation starter in the least.
In response to my inquisitive question, he gives me this one-word-answer: “You.” Huh? I sheepishly laugh and respond by noting how creepy that is since we just met. His rebuttal: “Nah, if I was going to tattoo a girl on me she would have to be better looking than you.” Another huh? Did this guy just call me ugly? I of course get offensive and tell him I am done conversing with him and turn my back.
I then hear, “I’m just kidding. I was just saying that because it’s what you’d want to hear.” And so the debate begins. “Girls like assholes. If I came up to you and complimented your outfit, you would probably say thanks and turn away. But if I said, ‘I like your outfit but those shoes look terrible with it, you would start a conversation with me.”
I give him a very confused look. “No, I would probably think you were a homosexual.”
He continues. “It’s so true. See, I’m really a nice guy, but I play the asshole part to get girls.”
Sounds like a lot of games. I tell him he should try just being himself. He disagrees. I walk away.
Around an hour later, he approaches again. “Do you know that my eyelashes are longer than yours, and I don’t have to wear mascara.” Again, a confused look and me questioning his sexuality. I turn away. At this point he begins trying to mack it a friend of mine. Finally, a friend approaches and tells him that we both have boyfriends. Mr.Exposedchest shrugs his shoulders and says cockily, ‘So? I can still get them. I get girls all the time who have boyfriends.”
So I ask, “Did the last girl call you after you gave her your number?”
“No.”
“Then she must have realized what a mistake she made.”
Okay, I admit. That was really harsh and very out of my character. But I could only take so much of this guy’s cocky, narcissistic ways and annoying hit-ons for so long until I thought I should put him in his place. Plus, he already called me ugly and insulted my eyelashes. I think it’s fair.
The sad thing is this guy didn’t realize that everyone was annoyed by him and that no girl was interested. Once we reached the bar, which had very few people in it, he approached two random girls. He comes back to me and my boyfriend later and says, “Ya, those two girls over there are ugly but I figured I should give them some attention.”
In conclusion, ladies, if you ever dare hook up with a guy like this, I would disown you as a friend. Sure, you may be desperate for an ego-boost or an easy lay but this is the kinda guy that would lie about you to his friends to try to make himself look cool. And would probably leave your house saying something like, “Wow, my hair is curlier than yours and I don’t have to use a curling iron.” Enough said.
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2 Comments to Do Women Really Like Assholes?
Yes they do. I can attest to that.
Here is one more thing. If they don’t grow out of it…they end up marrying one.
January 22, 2009
What about us tattooed hopeless romantics? 
nice blog you have here Justine.
January 13, 2009