Hit on by a Minor
Ladies and gentleman, this past summer I experienced something that could not have made me feel any older than receiving anti-wrinkle cream as a gift. A young boy lied to me about his age in his attempts to ‘pick up’.
The night started off as any other. A friend of mine was invited out for her friend’s birthday and because she wouldn’t know anyone else there, she asked me to go along. So I, being the good friend that I am, put on a cute new dress and a pair of heels and went to her place for a few pre-bar martinis. Upon arriving at the bar, the birthday girl and her friends took off to dance, while Jess and I decided to take a seat at a table.
Just as we were thinking about leaving early, a friend of hers approached the table - along with two of his coworkers. Jess began to divide all her attention to her friend leaving me helpless with his wingman. I tried to be nice and attempted to engage in a conversation with him and his friend about very generic topics- school, work, where we’re from, etc. When I told them that I had just graduated, the one guy asked my age.
I was honest and said that I am twenty-two. Having already been suspicious that these guys were much younger than me, I decided to enlighten myself by asking theirs. He immediately stated, “I’m twenty-one.”
It may have been the extremely fast response, or the fact that this guy could barely sprout a half-stache, that made me know he was lying. And so, I decided to enlighten myself even more. “When’s your birthday?”
I began to feel like a bouncer asking a minor his information on his fake ID. He stuttered, he thought for a minute, and then he tried to very smoothly tell me his birthday: June 17th, 1986.
“Oh, what a coincidence,” I respond. “I’m an ’86 baby too! But if you just had your birthday last month, then that means you turned 22. ”
The boy paused, trying to conjure up how to get out of this predicament. I see his friend shake his head laugh. “Oh, silly me. I’m so used to saying the info from my fake ID that I had to use in Vegas. I just got back last week.”
I smiled and nodded, biting my tongue from asking why he would need a fake ID in Vegas if he was 21. I figured I had embarrassed him enough and frankly, I was beginning to feel quite embarrassed myself. It dawned on me that not only did a boy lie to me to seem older, but even the age he lied to me about was younger than my own. This crushed me. I feel like I’m on the road to Cougardom, to the days of Mrs.Robinson and Stiffler’s mom. But when my twenty-two year old friend told me a story of how a guy lied to her to seem younger, I regained my feeling of youth.
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1 Comment to Hit on by a Minor
Lol, getting caught in your own lie… especially when picking up a girl. Nothing can suck more than that.
February 4, 2009