Guido Fist-Pumping Disaster
Guido Fist Pumping Disaster
A few weeks ago I heard a story from a good friend of mine which is both utterly hilarious and a major catastrophe. While she told me this horror story, I couldn’t refrain from laughing my ass off although I felt completely sorry for her at the same time. It goes like this:
My friend, we will call her Chastity Cummings on her own request, had plans for a night out on the town with a bunch of her friends. After taking back a few cocktails she decided to meet up with some of her other friends that she had gotten separated from at the bar that was attached. She phoned up her friends and shouted on the other line to try to figure out where they were. On a drunken mission to find her friends, she decided to take a shortcut through the dance floor. At the same time that Chastity was plugging one ear and shouting in the phone, another group of men who looked like they came straight from Jersey Shore were dancing up a fist-pumping storm. The combination of the two was destined to be disastrous but as both Chastity and Jersey Shore was equally distracted, neither of them saw the fate that lied ahead. Chastity shoved her way through the crowd of dancers, inching closer and closer to the self-proclaimed Guidos when all of sudden, one their flailing fists connected with her jaw.
Chastity didn’t know what hit her. That is until she turned and saw the group of men with overly-gelled hair and far too tight t-shirts pumping their arms in the air like nothing even happened. She confronted the one, but he ignored her and kept dancing away. Upset, and in a great deal of pain, Chastity continued on to her group of friends and shared the horror story with them. As she was speaking, she felt a trickle run down her chin and as she wiped it away, she realized it was blood.
If she wasn’t freaking out before, now she was. Her one girlfriend calmed her down and told her it wasn’t a big deal. The two of them headed to the bar and after a few more cocktails, Chastity soon forgot about the little incident…until she got home and bit into a slice of pizza.
The first bite sent a pain right through her jaw. She ran to the bathroom, opened her mouth wide, and looked in the mirror to see what the problem was. The fist-pumper actually cracked her molar right in half.
The next day Chastity made an emergency trip to the dentist. And when she thought it couldn’t get much worse, it did. Long story short, the procedure to fix her cracked tooth would involve two months worth of weekly visits to the dentist, a trip to a gum specialist, six needles and a screw drilled into her molar, and a crown for her tooth.
Now whenever I see a fist-pumping Guido on the dance floor, I keep my distance. I know you take your dancing seriously guys, but there is something to be said about a dance move that can crack teeth and knock people out.
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