Know your Liquor Biology
My first rye night!
I’ve recently begun paying attention when I drink. Not in the way that I censor myself or that I’m one hundred percent aware of what’s going on around me, but rather, I’m starting to notice a trend that what kind of night I have depends on what I’m drinking. I discovered that mixology and biology go sort of hand in hand, that certain chemicals in my drink react differently with certain chemicals in my brain. Keep in mind, I’m still working on this theory of mine and I’m not entirely certain whether my nights do in fact depend on the booze, or numerous other variants, such as who I’m with, where we’re at, if I’m PMSing, etc. But, here’s what I’ve come up with thus far:
Rye- Every single time I drink rye, I end up having the time of my life. For example, my first rye night resulted in camping behind a batting cage and dancing at a bar in my bikini top (only to one song). When I showed some friends pictures of the night, they questioned if I was on ecstasy. Although I always have a great time when I drink rye, I do know a countless number of men who end up punching holes in the walls. My theory for this is that rye simply heightens whatever mood you are in. If you’re pissed off and drink rye, someone will end up with a black eye. If you’re in a great mood and drink rye, someone will end up seeing you in the middle of the dance floor fist pumping and making friends with just about anyone.
Wine- Wine is a strange one for me. It usually begins with me feeling classy and sophisticated and ends with me crying in a bathroom stall while drunk dialing my best friend about how shitty some guy is. Okay, that’s very exaggerated but for some reason wine gets me into serious thoughts which often can get emotional. Maybe it goes with the stigma of wine drinking. Think, wine = acting mature and serious = thought provoking convo = too many deep thoughts that will make me upset and smudge my makeup down my face.
Tequila- I quivered just writing that word down. Tequila and I are worst enemies. So bad in fact, that whenever I do think that I can start hanging out with him again, he gives me a round house kick in the throat and forces himself out of my company. The last time I tried a shot of tequila I threw up instantly at the bar… and I wasn’t even drunk yet! It was awful and embarrassing and I have yet to attempt hanging out with him again after that shenanigan.
Caesars – by far one of my favorite cocktails, but also one that always leads to me eating very awful foods. There must be something in a Caesar that triggers a part of my brain that makes me crave chicken wings and nachos. I guess that a Caesar is basically all the ingredients for a BBQ in liquid form so psychologically, my mind must be saying that its missing sustenance, like a big juicy hamburger. So I’ve learnt that Ceasars are strictly for casual pub nights and when I’m not wearing a tight outfit.
Martinis- a similar effect as wine. I can be at a strip club drinking martinis and somehow still feel classy. The good thing is that unlike wine, I don’t end up in serious convos that could make me upset. Rather, the convos are usually centered around men and sex and end with me and my girlfriends giggling like little girls and flirting with whichever male bartender is serving us.
So now you know what drinks to feed me the next time we go out. But, you should also learn your own drinking biology so that you know what to stay away from in certain circumstances and what works for you in others.
